An excerpt from the book:

Let me tell you about Dale, a nine-year-old with poor impulse control. He loved ping pong, and it was a source of constant irritation to him that there were other students at the Centre because it meant he had to share the table, wait his turn and all those annoying things. We had been coaching Dale on his social skills and giving him specific ways to work on making friends. One day, I stopped Dale on his way out for break and reminded him to think about his actions and try to do something that might build a friendship that recess. I should have been more specific.

Moments later I heard yelling and running footsteps and went out to see Dale running at top speed with two of the boys from the older class chasing him. Dale had the ping pong ball in his hand and, unfortunately for his well-being, was refusing to let go of it. The boys got to him a step ahead of me. We talked while Dale held an ice pack on his face. I had gotten the facts from the incensed older boys: they were in the middle of an important game (part of the Centre tournament play), when Dale grabbed the ball in mid-air and started running.

I resisted the familiar urge to ask Dale, “What were you thinking?” He had been at the Centre for a couple of months already and so it was he who suggested, from beneath his ice pack, “I think we need to problem-solve.”

“Problem solving” is a term borrowed from Life Space Crisis Intervention. At the Centre, it became our term for talking. Many of our kids came to us with negative mindsets about talking. When we used the word “talk,” most kids heard “lecture,” or “scold,” or “trouble.” When we said it was time to “problem-solve,” the response was different. They soon learned this meant that they would get to tell their side of the story and it would be listened to without judgment. They also learned that they had a pretty good shot at resolving the problem. Older students resisted more and so, as much as possible, we gave the kids latitude in controlling the when and where of problem-solving. The little ones, with fewer defenses and “baggage,” were often pushing us to “pwoblem-tholve.”

Monica Nawrocki, a teacher, moved from a regular classroom setting to the Regional Support Centre in Selkirk, Manitoba, where she worked every day with a population of students who had been labelled “bad”.

Price $11.95
softcover
ISBN 1-894601-35-1